Hey all, hoping for guidance

[Gregjax36]

Hey everyone, 40 y/o male here, married 15 years! Hoping for guidance from you all.

Over the years, my wife has given hints at being open to and wanting more sexually, but it took me years to realize I was the kinky one, and more years to work up the courage to bring it up. Initiall she shot it down, but again - has dropped hints

I finally brought up a different idea, which she took to. Nothing crazy, but my hope is that it warms up to more. Anyway, I'll post more in another channel, but hope you are seeing more of me soon!

[kjs1961]

Tell us what the difference plan was you came up with, that she was ok with and maybe we can offer you some guidance.

[Gregjax36]

So some context may help a bit. As you may have guessed from my above post, my wife has, typically 'worn the pants' in our marriage. It's fine - it works for us in basically every aspect of our life. Except maybe when it comes to sex.

The problem is, its not easy for me to flip the switch from loving husband devoted to her to, dominant dynamo in the bedroom. The problem THAT creates is that, because its not occuring to me that I am the kinky one, (though I struggle to talk about sex with her a lot) and because she struggles even more talking about sex AND she runs things, our sex life has gotten routine (which she does admit).

So there is more background there, but I am trying to be succinct.

The new plan, which she is SUPER excited by, is that periodically, there will be a day where its all on me to set it all up, but I am in charge completely. This allows me to get in the mindset (and her hopefully). So, our first special date is coming up soon (a few weeks from now).

I am hard at work setting things up to try to make it special, but, one thing I really want to do is sort of try to get her to admit some fantasies to me. I am going to be having her fill out a questionairre. Some questions will be relatively benign (I want her exact clothing sizes and such, because my plan for future dates is to purchase her lingerie and outfits).

Some more context....I have told her in the past a desire to have a 3 some (me, another guy and her), but, she said no, but also in other moments has admitted she finds it sort of sexy. Other little stuff over the years sticks out. She has flashed me in public a few times unscolicited. Or mentioned how she wishes I had another hand while we are playing.

Obviously I'm not interested in 'getting' her to do anything she doesn't want to do. I am intersted in 'getting' her to open to to explore things she DOES want to do.

So, the questions. I don't want it to be 100 questions obviously. I considered having one be for her to find and share the name of her favorite, kinky erotic story. Maybe a few 'would you rathers' focused on her showing herself off to other people for me potentially to gauge her interest (I have a strong interest in candaulism if she was open to it)

I'm also going to set up a few 'rules' for the day with small penalties if she breaks the rule (Like she has to whisper something slutty and sexy to my ear if she breaks the rule)

Obviously - at bed time, I plan to have fun with her LOL

Anyway....I will try to keep yall up to date as it progresses, but, as I said, guidance appreciated!