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Old 11-10-2010, 03:04 PM
Justthewayweare's Avatar
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Default I would love some help

Hi everyone. I have been a lurker here for sometime. I love the interaction and the environment that you all have here.... I have done a lot of reading in this forum and find that I am not alone with trying to get my wife to be more sexually free and or a hot wife. I know what you guys feel who are in the same situation. It hurts a lot when you tell her your secret, that you are entrusting to her, only to have her treat you like a horny dog that won't get off her leg. Our wives are suppose to be our friends. Weather they fully understand or not they should at least acknowledge our existence in the relationship and what feelings we have. As men we have always taken on the characteristic of the horny male, brought on by mistakes made by a few dumb asses in history. I am here to stand up for all of us, weather you are a husband feeling alone, a wife being told she is a dirt bag slut, or a couple, who because of the standards set by a few, are feeling guilty. We are all the same. The thing we want most in the world is a friend to share it with. I am here for the same reason. That is why my name is Justthewayweare. I believe that we are just built differently than other people. So we need to stand together. We need to be there to let each other know that we are not weird or crazy. We are just simply different.


I am a very sexual person I always have been. My wife has been in the past. At some point she stopped seeing our sexual relationship as important as I do. It seems the only direction she goes when I try and discuss it is backwards. I miss her so very much. Since we have lost that close connection where sex is involved all areas of our friendship have suffered.... I am a smart man when it comes to reading people, hell I am a salesman, it's my job. That is not to say I have not royally fucked this all up. I am very willing to take all the blame for where we are.) I figure all of us have been there. I just try so hard to get her to understand that she ends up feeling like she is not enough... I will say that we are a product of an affair that came from swinging. Both of us were just looking for a way out of our previous marriages. Both marriages were with spouses that were first married to god. So I know that fear is the biggest factor, but i wonder if it is the fear of the unknown that scares her or the fear of herself. The last thing in the world I want is for her to loose control of the love she has for me if we had a threesome. i do love her with everything I have. I shower her with that love everyday. She is everything to me. I just wish and hope she can be my best friend in my sexual life.

If there is any good woman, man or couple that would like to talk to me about this I would be ssoooo grateful. Thanks for reading my feelings.
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Old 11-11-2010, 06:42 AM
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Default Here for you Bro

Good for you man. . . let's chat. . . you need some one to talk to and I like to listen. . . and read, in this case. . . so lay it on me tell me what's up and why such an emotional message. . . how can I help?
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Old 11-11-2010, 12:26 PM
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The story is pretty normal. When we were first together there didn't seem to be anything she wouldn't do. I experienced with her how excited she was getting a new cock and what effect that had on her sexually. After we were married and life turned "normal". She stared wanting and doing less. So we found fantasy to be fun and we enjoyed it a lot. We found that we both LOVED the fantasy of her fucking another guy. We used it all the time, and it was great. Then she asked me once if i REALLY wanted that to happen. I answered honestly. Well that was the BIG fight everyone talks about. She couldn't understand why I would want to take such a chance with our relationship and especially with her health. Since then we have been up and down. Mostly down. I feel like we are at the end of the stand off though (good or bad). I have been talking to her about my feelings lately trying to get her to see why and whats in my head. I swear she thinks it is all bad but truly it is all loving and caring. Last night I told her that it is really stupid that we have become the opposite of who we said we were going to be. We are trying our best to NOT understand each other.
Well that is enough for now. Thanks for the reply.
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Old 11-11-2010, 01:29 PM
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Default it's ok

first of all. . .just remember what your first feeling were towards eachother. . . and bring this up with her to. . . remember how great it was for her first time with your cock. . . and then remind her what it was like everytime she got a new cock . . . so exciting and something new to learn about how to please some one. . . We(my wife and I) appreciate what it is like to have a new challenge and can appreciate the difference of sex and love. . . I know my wife loves me and I love her. . . the other people we fuck on the side we might have feeling for and they might even be mixed with feeling of love. . . but while my wife and I, before we were married argreed to was that once we are married there is no out. . . we are in this for the long hall. . . and adding people to the mix of sex and life is just a natural instinct animals have. . . so we have a life long relationship that the human side of us needs to be emotionally connected to . . . and then there is that animal instinct that we also need to fill to need to fuck. . .

Molly and I had a lull for a while after our first son was born. . . she wanted nothing to do with my cock. . . which helped us to realize that (1) I am not a guy that can go with out sex for more than a couple of days. . . (2) that she love sex and cocks and anything to do with having a big cum load in, on or all over her. . . and finally (3) we have enough fun together sexually that if we add more people it will just make the time we have together sexually all the more important and special. . . so maybe set up a couple of days a week that are just for you and her to fuck or take her somewhere you two have never had sex and try to spice it up that way. . . this life style while it is not for all, most people in it love it . . . keep your head up, both of them . . . and enjoy this site there are many fine people here who have been in your situation in one sence or the other. . . remember you are not alone and it is a normal life style. . .
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Old 11-11-2010, 04:07 PM
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Jesus. Get over it. I haven't had sex with my wife or anyone else in over 15 years. There's nothing wrong with me - I'm not a cripple, I'm not in prison or anything like that. We just stopped having sex. Get used to it and get over it before you go nuts and do something stupid.
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Old 11-12-2010, 03:05 AM
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Mr, kite how can you be in a relationship like that no sex ? I love my wife so very much but not to want to fuck her I think i'd rather be single and not geting any then not to be loved by your wife in every way possible.
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Old 11-12-2010, 10:04 AM
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I am with lopro
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Old 11-12-2010, 01:13 PM
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I think it's time to fire a warning shot here!

Communication is king...Talk to her fact to face, explain your feelings after you sit down and write everything down on your mind so you don't leave anything out.

The reason I say fire a warning shot is, unless something changes, I sense this could be the demise of your relationship. She needs to know that the reasons a lot of marriages fail and people go astray is they are looking to fulfill something that is missing...And you want her to know that you need to be heard because you don't want to be a statistic.

My wife often reminds me about women who are raising children at home, laundry, cooking, cleaning, managing the household, and how it's not reasonable to have overwhelming sexual expectations from most of them. In that case, your time will come as it has with us. It's called taking advantage of an empty nest.

Lots to process here. I sure feel for the both of you.
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Old 11-12-2010, 03:44 PM
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Wow. Thanks for all the kind words from everyone. Except Kite. I think I will just leave that alone. I will use all the advise that you have given me. Mostly I am here to get it off my chest and to feel like i am not alone. Nothing much happening the past few days. We are looking for the right direction together so to me that is a very positive sign. I will update as this goes. I don't necessarily NEED a wife that will swing, but a wife that will share a sex life with me is a good start. I am here not looking for a way out, just a way in.
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Old 11-12-2010, 11:55 PM
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Boy do i agree with you man. My wife seems to be like that. She just won't let herself go. Has flashes of the wild kinky thing she was when we married then just turns it off. When asked about it she gets embarressed & acts like good moms don't do that kind of thing Then give her a few drinks & she get wild Then if i bring up things that excite me or i'd want to explore she looks at me like i'm a freak! Yet she talked about simular desires after she gets a buzz on. I don't get it or know how to help her let herself explore her desires.
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