Need Advice

[hawksfan]

So while my wife and I are dating I was pretty open but my desire to watch her with other men. I am especially into her blowing other guys. During our conversations she thought it was hot and was very interested. We talked about doing it for read and she explained that should wouldn't be comfortable since we were just dating. She said she we need to be married to the person to be able to explore that life style.

We are happily married for a couple years now and have talked about it off and on to get each other off. Now that I expressed my desire to live out this fantasy she claims she is not into it. She said if she was younger and not married she would be into.

So I feel pretty duped. I've been carrying this fantasy around for a long time and thinking it was going to be reality. Now that isn't the case.. In some ways I feel betrayed. Do I drop it? Do I push harder? What would you do?

[badboylouy]

You shouldn't give up thats for sure!
She might not be into this but she wont change if you push her, take things easy and keep on talking about it as a fantasy unless this starts to turn her on she wont do it, get her to watch such vids might help...Ask he to identify a hot male who she would like to have or wished to dated, introduce her to someone you would like her to do.
Good luck.

[Runr4Life]

I wouldn't push it too hard, but nothing wrong with role playing it out, watching vids and such. I've been in many threesomes, and I have met with only 2 couples I walked away from after talking with them. One wanted it more than the other, and that can cause big problems in relationships. It should be what you both want, but it doesn't mean you have to drop it completely. She may come around, but definetly should be her idea.

[DaveMack]

And, not knowing your wife it is equally difficult to provide advise. However, I will offer a little. I think this is very difficult for some women to get their heads into. Before you were married I think perhaps she thought she could defer making this decision for a while. Now that you are married, she has said no. Whether you give this up or try to discuss it further has to be up to you.
My wife took to playing with other men like a duck to water. I was very fortunate that way. She has learned a lot over the years and I will pass on to you what she sometimes tells others. This is a very difficult step for some women. Some people can do it and some can never do it. It is not a life for everyone. Perhaps your wife just feels it isn't for her.
I doubt she set out to "dupe" you. I do think however that at the outset she did not want to disappoint you so moved the decision making time into the future. When the future came calling, she couldn't do it.

[treo]

I have been dating my GF for only 9 months, I had discussed have 3some with guys and girls with her from about the 2 month mark. She was into the fantasy at first, but now she doen't want me to talk about it anymore. She tells me that she is not into that.

I dont want to lose her for a fantasy! Although, when she gets excited she will bring up that she like looking at big cocks to me, because she knows it turns me on so much.

Let her have the ides. Dont talk about it with her for awhile and she will drop you hints about it. Most women dont like the idea to much, but once you have planted the seed of her sucking off other guys they actually like it, but dont want the guilt feeling they get sometime. IMO that is.

[ionized1]

agree with everyone. It has to be her choice. The best you can do is provide a supportive, non judgmental environment when the opportunity of discussing her fantasies arise. baby steps.

[logger213dd]

I love your topic. I went through the same thing. I have been working on her for years on and off to let me add a guy into our relationship. I had been talking to a few guys and a few couples through text and e-mail about a 3 some or 4 some, to see if anyone would be patient enough to go slow, I knew if she agreed we would have to work into it slowly. Well she found the notes on my phone and after a few tense moments, she understood that yes indeed our sex life had become boring. We rarely did it, we would got a month or two sometimes. And we just talked it out and she became interested in a specific couple that seemed to be right. All of a sudden she's become very sexual, we have it 3 or 4 times a week instead of rarely having it. And she's become much more open to new things between us. We have taken some vids and pics and kind of flirt with the other couple through text and e-mails. She's into it, it's exciting her enough that we actually met the couple for breakfast. They are exactly like us, and it seems to be a fit. She wants to start with just same room sex, but you know there's a strong possibility that things may happen. If not I have no doubt it will happen, and I even asked her if things didn't work out with this couple would she be interested in me finding another. I asked if she wanted a single guy or a couple. She wants a couple and the point I'm making is she wants to do it and is open to it now, and wants me to search for the right ones. So don't give up, keep at it, it's taken me years and now both of us are very excited. Good luck.