Setting your wife up

[i_see_stars]

Originally Posted by aquidneckguy

A little of both, actually.

She's had him twice now. Last week we rented a room with a king bed and spent the night with him. He fucked her senseless for about three hours straight. Problem is she keeps developing "girlfriend-type" feelings when she's with him.

He's a great guy, honest as all get-out, and that's not what he's in this for. Not looking for a "girlfriend" or looking to take her from me. He has no desire to destroy this relationship and is working with me on this.

She said after the first fuck, when she really started developing feelings, that she could get it under control and separate the sex from intimacy, but he and I can clearly see she isn't, so we've decided this probably needs to end.

He's been a great first guy, and this could have easily been a disaster with any other guy. I'm not sure if she would have reacted the same with any other first guy,or if I simply made too good of a choice, someone TOO close to her tastes. I'm not 100% sold that this lifestyle is for her.

Still, it was incredible to watch her get absolutely pounded to ecstacy for three hours!

Acquid,

That is quite disheartening. I wish it had gone better for you with regards to her just allowing an especially hot experience to be shared between you & her ...and the third. sounds like you did just about everything right. aside from a little smoke and mirrors in the initial 'setup' aspect, that was simply the seed. Everything from that point forward seemed to unfold without much contriving. I know you were very patient and after the setup, seemingly quite forthright with your wife. I've felt/speculated that these are just the elements required that really help exploring these sexual boundaries with success. That she developed some feelings for him in a way that you described was unfortunate. I hope you two can take some time and devote the right energies into making sure things get set right again. Maybe the lifestyle isn't for her after all. Right now it sounds like you two just have to pause for awhile and get back on track. who knows, maybe it is just some tweaking involved if you both decide to push the envelope again down the road. Maybe in the future you'll find that it is more about role-play, or maybe about foursome play, or maybe figuring out how to choose the perfect a less 'perfect' partner for her....or, Maybe nothing at all. Good luck to you. I know once the bug bites, once you cross that line of wanting to play with more than others or have your wife enjoy other men, the prospect of going vanilla again can seem, well, plain vanilla. It's a hard thing to navigate. I sit here, reading your outcome and yet a part of me still wants to experience the sexual thrills of some of this type of play - crazy, isn't it?

Well, best to you and your wife. I really hope it can all smooth over. remember, you're not the only married people whoever did stuff like this. Many are doing it, trying it and seeing if it can work for them. I say that because it seems like once that sense of failure rolls in, it may seem overbearing and cause much anguish. I think it is unnecessary though, really, this stuff happens, all the time - not really that big of deal, so you tried and it didn't work, time to patch things up and make things right again.

[PussRider]

About 30 years ago, my wife and I swapped with my best friend and his wife. I knew he had a big cock because we had served in the army together in Korea. We both married Korean girls and he had got out of the army. He and I had talked about it and he was quite eager to fuck my wife. His wife was sweet, but very petite with almost no meat on her bones and a completely flat chest. I was not attracted to her sexually at all. My main motivation was to see my wife take a big cock. She would always cum very strongly, so I knew his big cock would send her into orbit. I have never had any complaints, but he was about 2 or 3 inches longer than me. We finally did the deed, but it turned out far differently than I had planned. My "friend" pleaded with me to allow him to be alone with my wife this first time. He claimed that he would not be able to perform with me in the room. Actually, he was planning on leaving his wife because she couldnt have kids and, since we had a 2-year old daughter, he knew my wife was quite fertile. Plus, my wife is quite tall for a Korean, has fairly large tits, and is generally quite attractive. Many men have hit on her when they didn't think I would notice.

I had to go to Florida for some Air Force training, so I left my wife and daughter with our "friends". When I returned, my wife gave me the money to rent a motel room, since my "buddy" was still having performance anxiety. Little did I know that he had been fucking my wife silly while I was in Florida, which was contrary to my wishes and which she had agreed to. Anyway, his wife and I went to the motel and much to my surprise she turned pretty agressive in bed. She gave me a blowjob and I fucked her all night long. She had a sweet little pussy, which I verified by eating her several times during the night. To be honest I have never tasted a sweeter pussy in my life.

The next morning, when we got back to their apartment, we found that they had moved out. She had been so infatuated by his big cock that he convinced her to leave me for him. I knew that he was in a management training program for one of the big retailers, so I called around until I located the store where he worked. I got him on the line and told him he had better bring my wife and daughter back immediately. He tried to bluff me, but I told him that he had 15 min. or I would call the manager of his store and tell him the whole story. They arrived within 10 minutes. My wife was very cold with me and told me she was in love with him. I was not going to force anyone to stay with me if she didn't want to, even though my heart was breaking. She turned over my daughter to me and we left for the 2 hour drive back to my base. When we arrived, my neighbors were blown away that my wife had turned so cold and hateful (I didn't tell them about the sex). It actually turned out all right because my wife called 2 days later and told me she was sorry and begged me to come get her and take her back. It seems his big dick was the factor that turned her head, but she didn't count on the fact that he was a terrible lover. He did not know what to do other than to stick his cock in her without foreplay, and 2 minutes later it was all over. It did get a little messy when his wife called me the next day and wanted to move in with me. When I told her my wife was back, she asked "Don't you love me? I told her no, that it was just about sex for me and that I never told her otherwise. The big disappointment has been that my wife has refused to fuck anyone else since that time. And, about 16 or 17 years ago she decided that she no longer wanted sex at all. Since that time, I have not had a blowjob or had my cock in a pussy. My only relief has been masturbation. I have thought about divorce, since this is valid grounds for one in this state, but I do love my wife. We have been married 42 years and it is a living hell as far as I am concerned. My advice to all is, never allow anyone to fuck your spouse apart from you. I know most people in the lifestyle are honest and truthful. This asshole was supposed to be my best friend, but turned out to be a snake. I was going to beat the hell out of him, but decided he wasn't worth it - and told him so. That hurt him worse than if I had beaten him. Women tend to confuse sex with emotions, so make sure all have a complete understanding of the ground rules. Love to all.

[aquidneckguy]

We've talked just a bit about things the past two weeks; that's how long it's been since we've seen our friend. I have no doubt my partner is solidly in love with me, and that as infatuated as she gets with him, she knows he's truly not "boyfriend" material. I am 100% certain that he's behind me on this and not looking to do anything that I don't now about or agree with.

No doubt about that.

So he and I just both need to understand that she's going to develop some sort of "feelings", but that it's not a bad thing. She is committed to our relationship, has no true desire to end it and pursue him, and she is fully aware that he's not looking for a relationship and is leaving the area in a few months.

She and I have agreed that we both want the "fun" to continue, as long asour friend is in as well. We both also think we can have more fun with this lifestyle in the future, after he leaves.

[mrobbiep]

Not a guy, and am not certain I agree with the whole idea of setting your wife up without her knowledge. I uderstand where several of you are coming from and what you are wanting to happen, but wouldn't it be so much better if she was on board with the idea from the start? There WILL be an emotional reaction when she has sex with someone else and I think the safest way is for her to know she has her husbands blessing. She needs to know from the start that he WANTS to be a cuck, basically. Well, that's what it is!! And getting that settled, knowing what your position is and is going to be, THEN she will have the freedom to take her lovers WITHOUT having the emotional reaction. I don't understand men who say they want their wife to fuck someone else but don't really want to be a cuck. What is that? It is what it is. You BOTH need to agree on what you are doing. Then it isn't difficult at all. fun fun fun. Come on guys, you can't have it both ways. Do you want it or not?? Sounds to me like some of you aren't really sure to start with.

[carramrod]

hows the saying go

women need to feel emotionally connected to have sex and men need sex to feel emotionally connected ?


For me and my wife we always discuss what we want to do first, I know what she will and won't do and we can then try and work towards that - if it happens then great it's a win - win. If not then I still get to have her so it's still a win-win

[mrboots]

A buddy of mine had fantasies about seeing me fuck his wife and kept nagging at her to fuck me.
One day when he was more persistent than usual and I happened to pick that day to stop in, she asked me to follow her upstairs.
As we entered her bedroom, she stripped, informed me she had enough of him bugging me to fuck her and fuck her I did, the bonus for me being that she fell in love with the size of my cock and to this very day, I fuck her at least twice a week while he takes care of the kids>

[i_see_stars]

Originally Posted by mrobbiep

Not a guy, and am not certain I agree with the whole idea of setting your wife up without her knowledge. I uderstand where several of you are coming from and what you are wanting to happen, but wouldn't it be so much better if she was on board with the idea from the start? There WILL be an emotional reaction when she has sex with someone else and I think the safest way is for her to know she has her husbands blessing. She needs to know from the start that he WANTS to be a cuck, basically. Well, that's what it is!! And getting that settled, knowing what your position is and is going to be, THEN she will have the freedom to take her lovers WITHOUT having the emotional reaction. I don't understand men who say they want their wife to fuck someone else but don't really want to be a cuck. What is that? It is what it is. You BOTH need to agree on what you are doing. Then it isn't difficult at all. fun fun fun. Come on guys, you can't have it both ways. Do you want it or not?? Sounds to me like some of you aren't really sure to start with.

I am not sure I ever declared myself not a cuck in this thread but I do feel a need to respond. I think there are different levels of cuckoldry, if that delineation is important, the question then is, "at what point is it no longer a threesome or hallpass and what point is it a cuck experience?" For instance I am interested in sharing my girl with anyone my girl wants to nail ~ man or woman (to be clear, though she has this freedom, she has not taken me up on the offer...yet). In considering 3some play, I am interested in seeing her in an even greater state of heightened arousal with both myself and another lover pleasing her (yes, I fantasize about mfm most); I'd like to see her slut out. I desire creampies - to taste and for sloppy seconds. I'm also interested in sitting back and watching her with another cock sliding in and out of her for awhile too - yes, a more mild form of cuck. However, the humiliation aspect of the dom/sub/bull roles, cock-cage, the verbal degradation topped off with the cuck himself often poorly endowed is not at all interesting to me. I think most would argue that a true cuckold experience involves the later description along with the expectation that the sub cuck is not at all interested in pursuing other types of moresome play. While I desire encounters that are mild forms of cuck, I just as much want fousome swinger sex and the desire & hope of plunging my cock in another married pussy stirs me deeply - does this preclude me from being a proper cuck?...add to that I am a respectable 7.5" and I think, 'yes'. You could say it is splitting hairs but generally, I want a mfm in the same manner some couples or women want fmf threesomes, does that then make the female partner in that scenario a female cuck? anyone else?

[aquidneckguy]

Originally Posted by mrobbiep

Not a guy, and am not certain I agree with the whole idea of setting your wife up without her knowledge. I uderstand where several of you are coming from and what you are wanting to happen, but wouldn't it be so much better if she was on board with the idea from the start? There WILL be an emotional reaction when she has sex with someone else and I think the safest way is for her to know she has her husbands blessing. She needs to know from the start that he WANTS to be a cuck, basically. Well, that's what it is!! And getting that settled, knowing what your position is and is going to be, THEN she will have the freedom to take her lovers WITHOUT having the emotional reaction. I don't understand men who say they want their wife to fuck someone else but don't really want to be a cuck. What is that? It is what it is. You BOTH need to agree on what you are doing. Then it isn't difficult at all. fun fun fun. Come on guys, you can't have it both ways. Do you want it or not?? Sounds to me like some of you aren't really sure to start with.

First of all, I think you nailed it with the line "Not a guy".

No offense, but you can't know how a guy thinks, any better than a man can know how a woman thinks. Let me tell you what I mean by that.

I wanted to share her for a couple of simple reasons:

First, she's sexy as hell when we're having sex, and I've always wanted to see just how sexy she truly is during sex, in a detached sort of way that I can't have when I'm the one having sex with her. Also, there's something forbidden and "naughty" about another guy fucking her.

The other - and more important - reason, is that she long ago lost the incredible sexual drive she used to have; she said flirting in general used to make her feel sexy, and she stopped flirting with men after we met. After that, she stopped seeing me as that sexy "bad boy" she met ten years ago, and started seeing me as a "helpful partner" in her life, and not a sexual presence anymore. She openly said that one night 2 years ago.

I suspected that having another man show interest in her and flirt with her would revive that "spark" in her in a way she wouldn't, or couldn't, see in me anymore. She later confrmed that she stopped feeling sexy in general when she stopped flirting after we met, and agreed that flirting again would probably get her feeling more sexual in general, and thus in our relationship in particular.

And so we agreed that she should go out and meet guys, be in a position to be flirted with, and have my ok to flirt back, taking it as far as she wanted to. If that's what would put the spark back in our relationship, I was all for it. And I honestly believed it would work.

And I was right. Having men openly flirt with her has relit that sensuality in her, and she no longer sees me as that "safe" partner her mind had made me. Now she sees me the way she used to again, a "naughty" guy, and things are great between us. We could stop the sharing right now and both be okay with it, no doubt. It's just too much fun for both of us!

As for your concept of what a cuck is, I don't know that - being a woman - you fully understand what that means to men, or how men view that "role".

There are indeed "degrees" of being a cuck. A full-blown cuck is a guy who doesn't "share" his wife, so much as loses her. Another man takes his place sexually, physically and mentally degrades and humiliates him, turns his partner against him as well, as they play some sort of control game where the guy is denied sexual access to his partner, and is dominated and made very submissive. Often times the man is a willing participant in this, gets less pleasure from sex, and more pleasure from the submissiveness and domination.

That ain't me, sweetheart. I didn't tell her I wanted to be a cuck, because I didn't want to be one.

I want to share her, be an active participant, let her have the pleasure of two cocks instead of just one - be that mine, or his. And I also enjoyed sitting back and watching her have sex with him; like I said, I've wanted to see what she's like, in a deteached sort of way, while she's fucking. And she's HOT!!!!!!

Hardly what I think of with the term "cuck".

Lastly, regarding the "set up" ......

The set up was merely a case of getting her to consent to flirting with someone - anyone in her case - and me doing some legwork to find a guy that was 1) safe 2) someone she'd be more likely attracted to 3) a sure-fire thing, versus hoping that a random stranger would show up and be attracted to her.

The "set up" stopped with arranging a supposedly random meeting between the guy and her.

That's it.

The choice to feel attracted to him or not was completely hers.

The choice to get involved with him was entirely hers.

If she wasn't attracted to him, it ends there. If she was attracted, but not open to going on with anything, it ends there.

She is absolutely THRILLED we met him, she just doesn't know that I chose him to be in a position to meet her. And if I could have possibly let her know I was doing this, I would have. I just knew that she wasn't ready to go along with this openly. Once they met, and she felt an attraction to him, and he for her, and then made his feelings known to her, she was openly presented with the choice to stop, or proceed.

It was her choice to make. She chose to proceed. I agreed to it, and here we are today. When the subject came into the open, I told her exactly how I felt, that I was okay with it as long as she could separate sex from love, and do this just as a physical thing. She agreed to that. There were no "surprises" going in, only that once she had sex with him, she couldn't separate the sex from 'feelings" quite the way she thought she could.

Do I wish I could have told her she was going to meet this particular man? Of course. But she wasn't ready for that. So instead I simply put them together and watched to see what happened. I'm not sorry I did that; things between us have gotten so much better than they already were, and it would have never happened if I didn't put the two of them together.

The beautiful part is that in the future, I can do this openly! She'll be open to it from here on, because we've already crossed that barrier.

Hope this clears things up for you, mrobbiep

[Neabledawweef]

Rather interesting forum.
Do a grouping of immediately had to be to be so in and again visited?

[Roaningeteada]

Hi Everyone

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