[JCH]

Hello. This is all new to me. Looking for a little feedback.
My wife and I of 15 years for the past 10 months have been talking about MFM threesomes and about her sleeping with other guys. I think I brought it up after I found her flirting and sending naked pictures to other guys. It turned me on, so we started talking about it in and out of the bedroom. To make a long story short. 2 Months ago My hot wife Finally fucked someone else besides me in the last 15 years. I kinda knew she was going to do it. She told me every detail when she got home as her and I were fucking. He has a big dick, she loved it, he made her cum 4 times. They had a crazy rough night of sex. He concord all 3 of her holes in one night.
Main question is:
It really turns me on hearing and thinking about her fucking his big dick. I want to watch her get fucked and have a threesome and give her DP.
Its weird. Sometimes I get pissed and jealous about it, but at the end of the day I always jerk off to the thought of a stud fucking her and want her to talk dirty to me in bed.

What does it mean that I get jealous, but then turned on?
Wondering what and how I will feel if we actually go through with having a threesome?
Thanks for any advice and help