Same boat here. Lots of talking - she even says aspects of 'including others', to certain extents, appeal to her- our hypotheticals had been to find an attractive, like minded couple to have same room sex with (no swap) but we both see it potentially advancing either slowly or quickly and over a period of a few months; following many discussions, she ultimately says she has to draw a line in the sand and so not do anything along these lines (so here i am vicariously looming)- so, although we've talked about different scenarios, (both) fantasized about it and had even created a profile on a swingers site just to get a sense of what poeple are like who swap or swing (my idea)...she said she just feels that crossing the line into 'actually' doing it, or pursuing it is not congruent with her. She just thinks it demeans our relationship - that it would erode our commitment and the value of honoring eachother ...i see it both ways. So for now we are not both pursuing it and i have dropped the matter entirely with her... i am okay with it. our sex together is amazing...in fact it was our great sex that elevated...inspired and brought forth these more unconventional desires and the combinbation of my trust in our relationship that allowed me to consider including others (sharing), thinking about and realizing i was turned on and excited when thinking about it - ultimately discussed many times. We have talked about many 'what - ifs' - in the ealrier discussions, when she was giving these notions more consideration, she also said she would be somehow more 'into' scenarios like these if it were spur of the moment, unplanned...and that perusing craigslist or sites like these pushed her just past a threshold that made her feel ...well- uncomfortable, unsavory. so for now, i am just going with her more conservative stance. meanwhile i am still having poweful sex with her and on occasion, when i want to vicariously enjoy how some other couples celebrate themselves, i check out this site. On some days when i am feeling that impulse to want to explore these more fringe activities i think about setting something up where i know another swap couple will be and do a whole staging as if it were spur of the moment, but i think she would see right through it. she is smart and aware...that is one of many reasons i love her. again, just staying away from the subject for now.
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