[cuck2196]

I'm just going to be honest and say that most of the time i love this lifestyle but sometimes i hate myself for the things ive done and the person ive become. I'm a 23 year old guy.

There is an emotional root to my obsession. I grew up as an only child with my Dad leaving the house around middle school. I still saw him a lot, but most of my home life was with my mom. She had depression and would often send me mixed signals. I know that she loves me, but her depression caused her to often show a perverse selfish type of love. I have now concluded that I was enduring an emotionally abusive relationship with my mom. She would often hurt me and call me names and belittle me only to later apologize and tell me she loved me. Until 3 years ago, I did not want to believe that her abuse had scared me, but I see it now.

I get off on reading stories from the man's perspective. It does not matter whether the stories are humiliating to the guy or just a threesome, the basic theme is the same: his wife/girlfriend enjoys sex with the other guy more. She often shows more signs of arousal with the other guy (e.g. greater wetness) and she is more open to doing very hot sexual acts (like anal or swallowing). Often the writer makes it clear that his wife/girlfriend never acted this lustful with him and would never give him the hot sexual acts.

After I am done, I am very sad. I almost want to cry. I see my life with a wife who does not see me as sexually attractive. I have a wife who would easily suck a guy off in college, but will protest the act if I ask for it. Witch usually i like but sometimes i have mixed feelings. I don't know what to do

I feel like my cuckold fetish is my way of coping with my insecure belief that no woman will ever love me or lust for me enough to do hot sexual acts with me. I see those sexual acts as evidence that I am a man in her eyes and the denial of them as evidence that she doesn't see me as a man. My wife has had sex with 14 other men that i know of since we've been married and we've had alot of fun, but we've also had ALOT of problems i dont know what to do.

Sorry for writing so much, but if anyone has escaped reading cuckold/wife sharing porn or stopped wanting a cuckold relationship, please help me. I don't know how to stop. I either read the porn and get my release or I get really depressed and feel like I will never be seen as a man and loved.